Haunted Dreams

light is fading,night's welcoming all the pathos of the day.

in the moon light,when the heart cried,intoxication was the sole way

sorrow's silhouette,memories come alive

Aimless nomad roams within me just to find you by my side.

In the night time,when the tide’s high of emotions underneath,

could the old times go with a long sigh n I would feel free beneath

love’s labour lost,but I don’t wanna cry(

the dreams still haunt me but I try to keep you out of mind.

I see you in my dreams

my eyes hold on to its streams

I try to embrace your thoughts then

Yet I rise amidst my screams

THE MYSTERY OF AN EYE

sometimes life can crazy and u only realize after the frenzy gets over.i am no different and this has been happening to me of late

we always studied about cyanide,a poison that kills u the moment u consume it.but then have u ever thought about any substance that could consume you a little at a time,then make u feel lost n by the time u recuperate from the loss,it consumes some more of you.

i have been going through a phase in which i have just come across the right substance,n guess wat,im addiced to it!

in the club,in my place of unwinding,this substance is hovering around me.n hell i love every bit of this cunsummation.for the lesser intellectuals,its not a drug,its just eyes.

the chasm of its depth,the beauty of perfection,the hint of kohl,the brightness,the authority,the serenity,the fire,the lure,the seduction..........wat further elucidation can i do???

it stays with me,in real or my minds reel.but it stays.it doesnt go.i dont want it to go.sometime i feel the fire burning me,sometimes i get seduced,i fall for the beauty,but then i want to get away from it.i felt nothing like this before.n perhaps i dont wish to feel this again.

the eyes speak in volumes.i wish to be engrossed in the exchange of glares,but somewat a connection cannot be made so soon.but i would rather try to establish it,so that if i fail i dont have the regrets of not trying.oh god,how can u be so cruel to send upon me such grace,which i wish to claim for myself but u place such hardship on the way........................................

Escaping Love

well I'm 24 years now....life has taken a lot of twists n turn,some which were in my control,some in destiny's.unable to bear the excruciating agony of being lonely in this world,i write something tonight that i can admit is truth n nothing but it.

circumstances forced me out of home at the age 10.i landed up in himali boarding school in kurseong,Darjeeling.....then my greatest fear was sleeping alone at night,without ma.then two yrs later,i landed up in st.Paul's school,Darjeeling.then my greatest fear was to survive the bullies,perhaps hide behind a shield which would protect me.then aurobindo institute for plus two,where my greatest fear was to survive the highly different social structure of kolkata.then Bangalore Inst of tech,where my only target was to survive racially biased faculties and students.now that i work with tcs,my greatest fear is to be able to survive for 3 yrs.

so in short,i have lived my life amongst fear and insecurities.i don't repent it coz along with it i got a huge amount of liberty and independence.but still i feel sometimes that my ma was there beside me at the darkest hours,putting her hand on my head n saying,"bapi,dont take tension,u'll sail thru" or scream at somebody,"do u know who my dad is" when I'm being bullied,literally or figuratively.

my parents r present,but away.they kept me away from them,stabbing their own heart so that it doesn't beat for me,only for my betterment.may be i cannot elucidate further,but the biggest lesson of my life is that money cant buy everything.

now that I'm lonely,nomadic and earning,i feel at times that i need someone in my life on whose lap i could place my head n talk about the most irrelevant romantic events and my sorrows.someone who would listen to me and pacify me and vice versa.

but alas!this world is so superficial..........i don't hold any prejudice against women but certainly against girls.going by my definition,a girl is a early twenties female species whose purpose in life would be to suck up a guys money,ruin his emotions,use him to the fullest of her purpose and then go ahead for greener pastures.

a woman is defined as a mid twenties female species,who hasn't indulged in these heinous activities in her teens and is ready to meet a man who would love her for wat she is and not for wat he wants her to be.

being so difficult to find such rarities,i gave up my pursuit only to be struck by a lightening.a woman so fine,so chaste that her radiance would blind the evil eyed monsters of our society.but alas again!someone shares a common feeling somewhere,n someone so close to my heart that despite have broken his trust once,he was kind enough to give me another chance in his life and friendship.

so i go on in life,looking behind,smiling at every failed relation,at every infatuation,at every missed opportunity of affection,at every step of selfishness.i go on n forth,doing wat I'm designed to do,living someone else's life in reality while living my life in my virtual world.i feel I'm running out of strength now,i need someone by my side,but destiny of mine is designed such that it is not to be.

so i smile and carry on.

TUM

KAASH YEH HOSH NA HOTA,
TO KABHI TANHAYEE NA PATA HOTI,
KAASH YEH AASMA NA HOTI,
TO KABHI CHAND NA DIKHTA,
KAASH KOI KALI NA HOTI,TO KHOOBSOORTI MEHSOOS NA HOTI,
KAASH SIRF TUM HOTE ZINDAGI ME,
TO YEH NAZAARE JALTE HUMPE,
TERE BINA HUM ADHURE HAI,
TERE BINA HUM KYA KARE IN BAHAARO KA.

THE THIRTEENTH NOTE

GREEN GRASSES FLOWIN IN THE HORIZON,
SUN SHINES AMIDST THE CLOUD AND ZION,
SERENADE OF EROS N PSYCHE ENCHANTS THE MOONLIGHT,
LIKE A SYLPH'S ESSENCE FEEBLES THE MIGHTIEST'S MIGHT,
VOYAGE TO FIND THE ATTAR OF THE IMMORTALS,
WHERE DAY N LIGHT,GALE NEVER ALTERS.

CHORUS:
THE CHASM OF LIFE,THE ANNALS OF SPIRIT,
ELUDES MY AVARICE OF BEING DISCRETE,
SEEKING THE FRAGRANCE OF ETERNITY,
BESTOWING THYSELF WITH MALIGNITY,
EYEING to EDUCE THE THIRTEENTH NOTE,
CREATION OF AN OBNOXIOUS RIOT,
MAGIC OF THE FRAGRANCE UNFOLDS,
ONLY TO CLAIM LIFE OF UNTOLDS.


THE CREEK OF TURMOIL,BURNS DOWN TO OIL,
THE UNDETERRED SPIRIT,MOULDS DOWN TO SOIL,
TO ACQUIRE THE FINEST OF SCENT,
ASCENT TO HEAP OF DEATH FOR THIS CONQUEST,
FINE CHASTE WOMEN SACRIFICED TO THE CAUSE,
TILL TIME DISCOVERED MY OWN PERFUME'S LOSS.

delhi-6:the re-review

lovely morning;entered office,no work,next stop's adlabs(sector 5,salt lake).delhi 6 was running along with stoneman mystery n billu barber.since delhi 6 was the dolce gabbana aka rak"eysh" omprakash mehra's creation so it had to be a sight for poor it workers like me in a u can see but cant touch situation.so at 115 pm i get into the theatre with 4 other colleagues.3 hours down the line:

1.i gave my frnds the liberty to rate the movie on a scale of -10 to 0.
2.i felt my brain was involved in a gang bang porn film lasting 3 hours.it lost its virginity,sanctity and solace.

delhi 6,tremendous expectations after rdb.wow!wat a movie.rak"eysh" might wanna add n subtract n make himself rak-ass.it more goes onto prove hes nothin but a brainless hairy neanderthal who rode on the gray matter of aamir khan in his previous movie.

abhishek no doubt did a decent job,leaving his tormenting wanna be american accent,more commonly heard from sub-continental migrants doin dish wanshing n onion chopping in the land of uncle sam.sonam kapoor had nothing much to do coz rak-ass didnt give her much space in the movie,needless to say she was pretty.

all in all,rate it on a scale of -10 to 0.please do not watch it.rather put ur money in a weighing machine n bribe it to print ur weight minus 10 kilos!!!

LABZ NAHI YEH

labz nahi yeh,zakhmi dil ki ailaan hai yeh,
toote dil ki dastak hai yeh.
Shayaraana nahi,dil ki aahat hai yeh.
Saanso me gunje,wadiyo ki sannate,
thand ki dhund hai yeh.

zalim tujhe mita du apni dil se,tamanna hai dil ki,
kaffan dal du tere yaado pe,muraad hai is dil ki,
par kare to tere besabar intezaar aaj bhi,majboori hai is dil ki.

maula agar uppar hai to sunle is bande ki ibaadat,
mehfooz ho mere aankho ki noor,mera mohabbat,
naadan hai woh,uska kasoor nahi,
majboor hu main mera kasoor nahi.